Agonizing fear and paranoia

So since my college semester break is here and finally freedom, except the fact that I need to wait for the results and that will be the longest agonising wait I have to endure, the fear of failing is already in my thoughts right now, and I don't want to go through another hell hole again.

I did my best that's all I can say, but apparently not good enough since one of my subjects the lecturer told me that I'm getting worse than the previous semester, the other 2 subject through I did alright according to the lecturer, but only this subject I'm now living on constant fear, like standing on thin ice right now, between heaven and hell, life and death.

I ask for God's blessing for me this time, and I know I've never been close to God for a long time until just recently I went to church, but I'm hoping that he doesn't give up on me just yet. I let Him down.

Just this once, I need a lot of strength, a load of strength.